I forgot to ask Duke-Sama about the wolf,” I realize, not long after we had parted ways.
And I saw Curtis-Sama just earlier too…..
but I didn’t think to ask him anything about it either!
…..My objective today is to gather intel about that wolf and the incident.
I imagine writing the word over and over in my mind, ingraining it into my brain so that I won’t forget again.
“I ended up forgetting the main thing we came here to talk about today….
Ugh, right from the start, my luck today is the worst.”
“But you were able to talk with the person you like, so it wasn’t all bad, right” Gilles says astutely, his expression seeming more mature than his years should allow for.
That’s not the look nor the tone of an 11-year-old boy.
…By the time he’s 20, will he act like a grandpa Ugh, I don’t really want to see that.
“The person I like”
At my question, Gilles stops walking, jerking his head around to stare at me wide-eyed.
The sunlight from the windows shines off of his lovely gray irises making them glitter beautifully.
Rather than all that pompous stained glass, I feel like Gilles’s eyes are much prettier.
“Don’t you like Duke I was sure you did…..” he tells me, his eyes staring at me doubtfully.
“I do like him….
but is it romantically I’m not sure….”
“Don’t ask me…..
But that necklace.
Wasn’t it a gift from Duke” Gilles asks, pointing towards my chest.
I do wear this necklace that he gave me every day.
But that doesn’t mean that I like him like that…. I’ve just been wearing it this often because it’s my goal to become a woman who suits this gorgeous diamond…..
Or is that just an excuse….
Ahh! I don’t know! I don’t even understand my own feelings at this point.
“Is the way I like Duke actually any different from the way I feel about Gilles”
“They’re different,” Gilles says firmly.
I must have murmured my thoughts aloud without meaning to.
At his sudden words, I glance over to him in surprise.
“How are you so sure of that”
“Because I’m a genius,” Gilles says flatly, grinning from ear to ear, the corners of his eyes crinkling.
He’s just so cute…..
Gilles is definitely going to grow up to be a handsome man.
“……There are plenty of girls out there who like Duke-Sama much more than me though And I’m sure that more than just a couple of them would be willing to lay their life on the line for him.”
“Alicia, you have zero knowledge about love, huh” Gilles says, his expression half amazed and half exasperated.
I never expected to be told something like that by someone younger than me.
Let alone a boy.
Plus, why am I even consulting him about love, in the first place
…..Well, Gilles does seem to understand how romance works better than me….
But it’s not because I’m dense or thickheaded or anything! I just don’t understand the standards, the basis for romantic love.
I mean, what’s the difference between platonic, romantic, and familial love How am I supposed to differentiate between them And what about the worship and adoration that everyone seems to have for Liz-san How does that all fit in….
Ahh, the more I think about it, the more I don’t understand.
“Even if there are women who like Duke more than you, that doesn’t change the fact that you’re the one that Duke likes,” Gilles says seriously.
…..It’s like a shoujo manga! Where the character determinedly chases after the girl without caring if she likes him or not.
And then, at the end, their love is always fulfilled!
But surely that won’t actually happen, since this isn’t a shoujo manga.
And that’s just not how life works.
“Truly loving someone means you don’t expect anything in return,” Gilles says quietly, his eyes looking straight into mine.
In his expression, there is not one hint of childishness left.
It’s a mature expression overflowing with wisdom and knowledge.
What he just said sounded natural, obvious even.
But then, why is it that his words feel like they drove straight into my heart
“Whatever happens, I don’t think his feelings for you will change.”
“You know… I have a terrible personality, right”
Gilles hesitates for a moment and then speaks, his voice low and slightly wavering, “…..Even if that’s true, it doesn’t matter.
Duke has always and will always only be looking at you.”
…..Wait, does that mean that Gilles doesn’t think I have a bad personality Why didn’t he agree with me right off the bat
My mind veers off in that direction, like it’s diving head first into a hedge maze.
Usually he’d answer immediately about stuff like that.
And he’s always brutally honest with me, so why is he being so hesitant all of a sudden…..
“Alicia” Gilles murmurs, peering up into my face, a strange expression clouding his features.
“…..If my character gets any worse than it is now, even I’d want to run away from me, let alone Duke-Sama,” I tell him with a lighthearted laugh.
If Gilles doesn’t think my personality is bad, then there’s only one thing to do: I need to become even more dastardly and evil.
Hmm, Gilles is also quite black-hearted all on his own though, so maybe that’s why my wickedness up til now hasn’t phased him much.
….I can’t let myself lose out in depravity to my partner in crime! I need to work hard and develop my villainy, to build it up to an even higher level!
“Even then, I don’t think Duke’s feelings will ever waver,” Gilles whispers softly, almost like he’s talking to himself.
I purposely pretend that I don’t hear it though, and start walking again.